


all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around

by pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos



Series: the juno steel captainverse [2]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: ALSO mitwa from kabhi alvida na kaho, Anyways, Canon-Typical Violence, FR, Hurt/Comfort, I feel like that's a good enough summary, I wrote the first chapter while listening to Russian roulette by red velvet, Marriage Proposal, Other, Way - Freeform, Why am I still adding tags, also the change in the focus?, also the change in tone was ridiculous it made no sense, and a mix of ghungroo from the war movie and shakira, and then chapter two was the amazing devil, but I figured it worked better as a standalone, but in a, but this is a romcom, do I have a problem, huh, is that what that movie's called I don't remember, it's just fluff, no beta we die like the people they keep kicking off the roof oh yeah that reminds me, no tricks I promise, now, ok I should stop now, ok I'm done, stopping... now, the last one was more about the family as a whole unit, the title is from line without a hook because ofc it is, this time it's a, this was originally gonna be part of the last installment, which a little jupeter sprinkled in for the culture, with a pinch of angst for ~flavor~
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29377455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos/pseuds/pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos
Summary: “You’re proposing here? Now?”“I told you I’d been thinking about- Things!”“Yeah, like ‘what we’re having for dinner’ things! Not ‘proposing during a life or death situation’ things!”
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Vespa Ilkay & Peter Nureyev & Rita & Jet Sikuliaq & Juno Steel, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, but I'm only going to tag jupeter and, cause those are the big ones, literally everyone from the last fic is here and like vaguely involved
Series: the juno steel captainverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157636
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> listen-
> 
> yeah i got nothing have fun

“On your right!” Alessandra called over her shoulder as Juno narrowly ducked a henchman’s fist. He kicked the henchman in the stomach, sending them flying back. Juno held his arms out trying to balance, only to fall backwards nonetheless. Luckily, Peter caught him just in time.

“We have got to stop running into each other like this.” Peter quipped from above him. “Although, I won’t complain about you swooning into my arms more often.”

“Shut up.” Juno smiled, “I blame this on you entirely.”

“How was I supposed to know that killing some random con-man would anger an entire mafia?” Peter protested.

“As soon as you figured out that our old buddy Suryan was the same Suryan as Elias Suryan!”

“Well, I didn’t think that’d be relevant!”

“How could that not be- Duck!” Juno yelped, as he saw another goon come at Nureyev from behind. Peter ducked beneath the henchman’s legs, and stabbed through their back when Juno punched them backwards.

“Quite a hit, darling.” Peter panted as he stepped over the body.

“Don’t compliment me while I’m angry at you.” Juno glared up at him, only half meaning it.

“Oh, it won’t last.” Peter smirked, laying his head on Juno’s shoulder. “You love me too much.”

“Don’t test it.” Juno teased, as Sasha flew past them, having been kicked over by one of the henchpeople. Juno turned on them, drawing his blaster.

“The hell was that?” He demanded, catching their hand as they came to punch him. “Don’t you know that’s a rude way to treat a lady?”

The henchperson snarled, raising their knee to strike Juno in the stomach, but Juno flipped them over onto their back before stunning them. Two of the goons behind him charged at him, and Juno felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Juno,” He turned to see Peter smiling down at him, “May I have this dance?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” He smirked, and took his hand.

As the first henchperson drew near, Juno handed his gun to Peter before pulling out one of the thief’s knives out of his holster. Peter knelt by his back, shooting off the goons as they drew near, while Juno slashed through the henchman’s stomach before kicking him backwards and off the building. Peter grabbed his hand and spun him around to hit two of the goons as they leapt towards them. The two of them stood back to back as they fought off the approaching henchpeople, and out of the corner of his eye, Juno saw a goon coming at Peter. Without thinking, he grabbed Peter’s discarded blaster from his holster and shot the man through the neck.

He turned to Peter with a smug smile. “Watch it, handsome.”

Peter seemed like he was the one who’d been hit by the stun blast, because he was frozen in place, his face flushed and his hand outstretched. Juno didn’t have time to ask what was wrong before two more henchpeople were upon them. Juno pushed Peter aside and shot them down, but lost his footing on the ledge. He flailed for a second, before he felt an arm interlocking with his, and Peter pulled him into a precarious dip.

“ _ Juno. _ ” He breathed, barely above a whisper.

“Heh.” Juno chuckled, “Nice catch-”

“ _ Marry me. _ ”

Juno froze. “I- What?”

“WHAT?” Sasha shrieked in the background, as Rita squealed and shushed her.

“I- I don’t believe I misspoke, darling.” Peter smiled sheepishly.

“Are you  _ insane _ ?” Juno hissed, as Peter pulled him upright, keeping their hands entwined. “You’re proposing here? Now?”

“I told you I’d been thinking about- Things!” He replied defensively.

“Yeah, like ‘what we’re having for dinner’ things!” Juno shot back, narrowly ducking a henchman’s fist before pushing them off the roof. “Not ‘proposing during a life or death situation’ things!”

“Juno, I had a plan!” He replied, defensively. “I wanted to wear a nice suit, bring you flowers, make you a nice dinner-...” He trailed off under Juno’s glare. “Ok, I’d get Vespa or Rita to help me make you a nice dinner, but my point is, I never found the right time.”

“I feel like any time would be better than this!”

“You’d think so.” Peter chuckled, “But it’s… complicated. I’d been trying for weeks, even before the whole Dark Matters incident. But every time I started to get my things together, I’d start to second guess myself, I’d think ‘oh he’s not at the same place as you’, ‘oh he wouldn’t want something like this, not with you’ and then-”   
  


“ _ Peter... _ ”

“It was silly, I know.” Peter shook his head. Juno could feel his heart doing somersaults as the thief pulled a small ring box out of his coat.

“But I got in my own head, and I- I don’t know if you want the same things as me, and I don’t want to lose what we have because I wanted more, and I knew that if I never asked, I’d never know, but it was just so hard to find the right words, the right time and place, so that everything could be perfect because I wanted it to be perfect, I wanted to be perfect for you, because I love you, and I understand if it’s too fast for you, or you don’t want to settle down like that, but I’ve gotten caught up in the moment, and I’m afraid if I don’t ask you now, I’ll never have the courage to do it again and, good lord, it has been a while since I took a pause, this a  _ very _ long sentence, and is it getting warm in here, because I can’t tell if it’s gotten hotter or if just running out of air-!?”

Peter let out a small yelp of surprise when Juno grabbed him by the lapels and kissed him mid-sentence, before melting into Juno’s arms. Juno ignored Sasha’s protests, Mick and Buddy’s hollers of assent and Alessandra’s wolf-whistling, as he cupped Peter’s face in his hands and the thief wrapped his arms around Juno in earnest. Peter’s eyes remained closed when they pulled back, as if Juno would disappear if he opened them.

“Babe,” Juno laughed, “As romantic as this, words I never thought I’d say on a battlefield, we still are on a, y’know, battlefield! Not the best time to take a nap.”

“Was-” Peter gulped, eyes filled with an innocent hope Juno hadn’t seen their first night on the Carte Blanche. “Was that a yes?”

“You’re an idiot.” Juno all but giggled, pressing his forehead to Peter’s. He grabbed the small box from Peter and gasped. The ring was beautiful, two thin bands of gold, connected by glowing lines of crystal in between, and a single, shining amethyst in the middle of it all. “ _ Peter… _ ”

“I know, it’s a bit fancy, but-”

“You know I’m going to absolutely wreck this thing right?” Juno asked, smiling softly.

“Then I’d buy you a new one.” Peter replied, without even a moment's hesitation.

“Buy?” Juno smirked, and Peter nodded.

“I could see myself becoming an honest man.” He teased, “I’d buy rings of gold, silver, priceless gems, coveted jewels, whatever your heart desires. I’d rob the richest kings and filthiest criminals if only to make you happy. Just… say yes.”

Juno blinked back the stray tear welling up behind his eyes and let out a laugh. “Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Happy?”

Peter beamed, pressing a kiss to Juno’s palm, and slipping the ring onto his finger. “Jet!”

Jet turned to them in confusion, somehow looking stoic and serious as ever, even with seventeen henchpeople stuck on him.

“Marry us!”

“I am currently occupied, Ransom!” He growled out, flicking off two of the hench people as they shrieked. “Could this not wait-?”

“It kinda has to be now!” Juno yelled, only a little apologetic.

“Just DO IT, Mistah Jet!” Rita squealed, sobbing happily as she held onto Vespa’s arm. Jet looked to Buddy, who looked back to Vespa. She groaned, before nodding.

“Get it over with!” Vespa shouted from the next roof over, “I already gave Ransom permission 2 months ago!”

“You asked  _ Vespa _ for permission?” Juno asked, laughing incredulously. “2 months ago?”

“I told you, I’d been planning this for a while.” Peter replied, “And I asked Buddy, Vespa just happened to be there.”

“You ungrateful little  _ shit- _ !” Vespa shrieked, and Juno couldn’t help cackling into Peter’s shoulder. Peter just smiled up at Vespa, like a  _ nerd. _ A nerd who Juno was unfortunately, completely, in love with, oh god, Ben would never have let him live this down. He was going to marry a  _ nerd _ , and he couldn’t even bring himself to care.

From the next rooftop over, Jet cleared his throat. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two extraordinary criminals. We were also ambushed by a Martian Mafia.”

“Not the time to jumpstart your comedy career, darling!” Buddy hollered, as she roundhouse kicked a goon off the roof.

“We have gathered here today to join these criminals in unholy matrimony.” Jet continued, pausing only to punch a henchman in the face. “Juno, do you take this man to be your husband, in sickness and health, in life and death?”

“Hell yeah, I do.” Juno beamed.

“Peter, do you take this woman to be your wife, in times of need, in pain and happiness, now and forever?”

“Always.” Peter breathed, smiling down at Juno with complete and utter reverence.

“Does anyone object to this union?”

“I do!” Sasha practically shrieked. “I  _ very _ object to this union!”

“No objections then!” Buddy yelled over her, and Juno had to fight not to burst into laughter again.

“I hear no objections, and so, by the power illegally vested in me, I am proud to pronounce you- AH!” Juno and Peter jumped back, watching Jet throw several of the goons off his roof and to Buddy and Vespa. Jet paused, clearing his throat sheepishly. “I now pronounce you - husband and wife.”

Juno looked back up at Peter to see him beaming back down at him.

“Oh, just kiss the bride already!” Mick yelled, and Rita whooped next to him.

Peter smiled, reaching for Juno’s hands, only to yelp in surprise as the lady dipped him. He might’ve protested, if Juno hadn’t captured Peter’s lips with his own. 

In the back of his mind, Juno could hear the raucous applause, hollering, and whistling of his crewmates, and even a few of the henchpeople, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Right now, all he cared about was kissing Peter Aurinko-Nureyev - his _husband_ - senseless, and he had to say, he did a damn good job of it. By the time Juno pulled him back up, the thief looked like his head was spinning and he was seeing stars. Although, that could just be the lack of oxygen.

“I love you.” Peter whispered, almost in awe of the lady in front of him.

“I love you too, you idiot.” Juno laughed, leaning in for one quick peck before swinging around and shooting one of the approaching henchpeople straight through the neck. Peter whimpered, giving Juno puppy-dog eyes.

“Say it to me one more time?” He pleaded.

“As much as I’d love to sit here kissing you and telling you you’re pretty,” Juno smirked, dipping Peter once more just in time to miss the shot aimed at his head. “We are kinda still in the middle of a battlefield.”

“Ah.” Peter said, hastily. “Yes, I think I see our predicament now.”

Juno laughed, pulling Nureyev in to whisper in his ear. “But when we get out of here, I’m all yours.”

Peter smirked, pulling out his knives with that good old devilish demeanour that told Juno he’d get the job done as fast as humanly possible. “I’m counting on it, Captain.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and now, the hurt part of our hurt/comfort programme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is up 'peter nureyev should just cry for a minute and he'll be fine' nation

“Did you mean what you said today?” Juno asked, voice soft as Peter wiped off his makeup.

They were sitting in Juno’s cabin, Juno sitting on the bed, taking off his jhumkas, and Peter sitting at their dresser. It was  _ their _ cabin really, it had been for months. And now that Alessandra and Crystal had taken Nureyev’s old room, Mick and Nova had taken the spare, and Rita was ‘secretly’ sneaking Sasha out of the brig and into her room, it seemed official. It was stupid, all things considered, but Juno couldn’t help but feel a little excited. Instead of falling asleep next to Peter Aurinko-Nureyev, his master thief boyfriend, he’d get to fall asleep next to Peter Aurinko-Nureyev, his professional idiot husband.

“Well, I certainly hope so.” Peter joked, as he crossed the room and sat next to Juno on the bed. “Otherwise you married me for nothing.”

“Not that.” Juno rolled his eye, “The, y’know… the ‘terrified’ thing.”

Peter went still next to him, and Juno reached out and took his hands into his own.

“It’s silly.”

“Not to me.” Juno whispered, “Never.”

Peter sighed. “Juno… have you ever truly looked at yourself?”

“One too many times.” Juno quipped, but Peter didn’t even crack a smile.

“I mean…  _ really _ looked at yourself.” Peter continued, voice barely above a whisper. “Because I do. Every single day. It’s probably the biggest gift I’ve been given in this life.”

“Babe, what is this really about?”

“You- You’re beautiful, Juno.” Peter breathed, kissing Juno’s hands gently. “You’re beautiful, and intelligent, and kind, and wonderful, and  _ divine. _ A goddess in flesh and blood, and sometimes, I just can’t help but wonder what I did to deserve you? What I’ve done to keep you-... to keep you from… leaving me behind for something better.”

“ _ Sweetheart… _ ”

“It’s ridiculous, I know.” Peter cut him off, hands shaking. “I know you, I trust you, I  _ love  _ you. But when you know something to be true, no amount of sweet nothings and rings can really refute it.”

“Nureyev, I had no idea you felt this way, I-”

“My love, please. I- I think I need to finish this all in one go.” Juno nodded, silently, and Peter continued. “Ever since I met you, ever since I gave you my name in such a short amount of time I could hardly believe it myself, I knew that I was never going to love anyone else the way I loved you. Even when you yelled at me in hotel rooms, when you left me behind, when you… broke my heart, I loved you. I tried, Juno, I really did. But no matter who I found, no matter where I went, I couldn’t stop loving you. And I know that you had Alessandra, and I know that you had… others, and I don’t hold that against you, at all. But, it scared me, still scares me. Such blind devotion and for a lady who had abandoned me.”

“I am, first and foremost, a thief. Always have been and always will be. I’m also a wanted-terrorist. I have blood on my hands, I- I’ve done terrible things, Juno. And you-... you’re perfect. You looked at the world, saw it faults and decided to commit yourself to doing good. Even now, far from home, and amongst some of the most dangerous criminals in the known universe, you’re still  _ good. _ And how could someone like you ever come to love someone like me?”

“I love you, Juno, I truly do. And when I saw the ring on Pluto that day, I just couldn’t help it. I’d known for so long, I’d always known, that you were the only person I’d want to present with a ring like that. But every time I began to prepare to give you the ring, I’d falter. I’d think of Brahma, and Miasma, and Dark Matters, and a small motel room on Mars, and I’d think about how you’d grown and how you loved so freely and openly, and I thought of how one wrong word could take you away from me again, and I-... I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t risk it. Today, the adrenaline and my own treacherous heart got the better of me, and it all just came out. And I’m delighted that you said yes, happier than I ever thought I could be, but… I think a part of me still doesn’t believe it, you know? It doesn’t believe you someone like you could want to be with someone like-...”

Peter paused, looking up at Juno, as the lady shook slightly next to him. “Juno, you’re- you’re crying…”

“Yeah, no shit.” Juno said, wiping his eyes against his arm. “You are too.”

“Oh.” Peter touched his cheek gently, eyes widening in surprise when he found it wet. “So I am… I’m sorry-”

“Shut up.” Juno cut in, eyes filled with an emotion Peter couldn’t place. “Just, shut up and c’mere.”

Before Peter could protest, Juno had pulled him against his chest. He knew that his dress would be covered in wet stains later, but he couldn’t care, not when Peter was sobbing silently against him like that.

“When I was twelve, I punched a teacher in the nose for giving me a D-.”

Peter’s head snapped up. “What?”

“When I was 21, I knew that my partner in the HCPD’s wife was cheating on them with her precinct’s captain, but I never said anything. When I was 27, I slept with an old friend's husband, and didn’t even figure it out until it was too late. When I was 38, I told my best friends that I didn’t need them. When I was 38, I left the  _ love of my life _ cold and alone in a Martian Motel room because I was too much of a coward to see what was good for me. When I was 39, I murdered a single mother whose daughter had a heart disease.”

“Juno-”

  
“But you don’t care about all that.” Juno continued, “You never once judged me for it, you never once thought bad of me for doing it. You just held my hands when I had nightmares about them and told me that everything would be ok. Because that’s what you do when you love someone. So why can’t you believe that I would happily do the same for you?”

“You know why I never got together with Alessandra?” Peter shook his head. “Because even when I thought I had to hate you, I loved you. Did I ever wonder what could’ve been if I hadn’t? Sure. But I don’t regret it. Because ever since you stole my keys and left the ghost of your cologne in my apartment, I loved you. When you broke into my house and took me to a retired-thief's card game and bet my life, I loved you. When we were trapped in that tomb, I loved you. When I thought I was seconds away from death, I loved you. And when I left you behind, it was because I loved you. I just didn’t think I had any right to.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve given you any reason to believe that I’m not as committed to… us as you are.” Juno continued, ignoring Peter’s quiet protest. “If I’m being completely honest, marriage is… really scary. My brother used to tease me about falling hard and fast, but it’s true. And the last time I fell so hard that I made a commitment like this… I got left behind. And, even if it isn’t rational, knowing that happened and could happen again, is really scary. But, today when you actually asked me… I wasn’t scared. Because it was you. And even when I was falling too hard and too fast, you somehow managed to fall even harder and faster. And so, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me, right?”

“Never.” Peter whimpered, “Never.”

“I know.” Juno smiled, “You’re a thief, Peter Nureyev. But you’re also the man who gave up something tragic to save a city of tyrants. You protected me even when it could have ruined you. You forgave me when I hurt you. You cared for me when I hurt myself. And you came back to me even when I was afraid you wouldn’t. You might think that you’re a monster, but you’re not. Honestly, I find it offensive you’d even suggest that you don’t deserve my love.”

“I don’t.” Peter whimpered. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Yeah.” Juno replied, “And I don’t deserve you. But, it was always going to be a yes, Nureyev. Always. I may not deserve you, but I  _ want _ you. I  _ love _ you. And that’s enough for me.”

Peter sat in silence for a second, slipping off the bed and resting his head in Juno’s lap as he sobbed.

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing kisses to Juno’s knuckles. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Juno smiled, letting his tears fall freely.

“Tell me again, my love?” Peter pleaded, eyes watery, but his old wicked smile back. Juno laughed.

“I love you, Peter Aurinko-Nureyev.” He said as he pulled Nureyev back onto the bed. The two of them lay side by side, facing each other, arms entwined.

“How’s that for wedding vows?” Juno asked, and Peter burst into quiet laughter.

“I’d go for something a bit more… romantic. Like a promise.”

“Yeah? How?”

“Well…” Peter cleared his throat, before pulling their hands up in front of his face, rubbing his thumb over Juno’s ring. “Juno Steel. I vow that I will love and protect you for as long as I live.”

“Not bad…” Juno smiled. “Peter Nureyev. I vow that I will love you for eternity, no matter your flaws or your faults.”

“I vow that I will always tuck you into bed.”

“I vow to never make you cook dinner.”

“I vow to never move your toothbrushes from their rightful place.”

“I vow to always put your eyeliner into the drawers in the correct order.”

“I’ll never make you buy your own clothes.”

“I’ll never let you buy me bad clothes.”

“I’ll always oil your hair the way Rita does.”

“I’ll always give you an excuse to skip Rita’s werewolf stream nights.”

“I’ll never play my ‘depressing instrument’ for you.”

“And I’ll insist that you play it anyways because I love how you concentrate when you play, as if we’re the only two people in the world.”

“I’ll never touch your lucky blaster.”

“I’ll never return your fake-proposal knife.”

“I’ll be your most loyal servant, Captain.”

“I’ll remind you to never call me Captain because it reminds me too much of Buddy.”

“I’ll never let Vespa stab you.”

“I feel like that should’ve been one of mine.” Juno teased and Peter laughed. He took Juno’s face into his hands and kissed him gently as the lady grabbed at his waist.

“I love you.” He whispered, almost reverently. “I love you, Juno, my love, my darling, my goddess, my only.”

“That one’s new.” Juno noted.

“Which one?”

“Goddess.” Juno shrugged. “It’s so… I dunno. Devotional.”

“Do you not like it?”

“Well, I never said that.”

“My goddess.” Peter beamed, kissing across Juno’s face slowly. “My beautiful goddess, my wonderful goddess, my beloved goddess.”

Juno laughed as he wrapped his arms around the thief’s neck and kissed him gently.

“I love you.”

“I know.” Peter sighed into his wife’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I know.” Juno pressed a kiss to his husband’s forehead. “I’ll see you on the other side, dear husband.”

“I’ll be waiting, dearest wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i wrote 2 fics in one day don't judge me

**Author's Note:**

> come scream at me about the penumbra on tumblr @ vespaaurinkos and on twitter @brownpunkmagic


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